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Learn about me & my missionAugust 11th, 2024 | Where is the Dark Passenger? A Postcard From Prague.
This text was fully written by a human.
I’ve just come back from a 5-day masturdating extravaganza in Prague, Czechia.
It was my first vacation since a trip to Burning Man two years ago (I also wrote an article summarising that trip entitled “Let It Burn! I Went to Burning Man and Here Is What Happened”). Some conclusions from the trip will follow.
Why This Trip?
Indeed, in daily life, I have no chance to lock myself in a cave and hide from people.
I tend to spend my time in the busy, noisy San Francisco. Or, in the busy, noisy Warsaw.
Or, in Nijmegen, the Netherlands where I’m a landlady and keep on solving problems around the house (it’s a blue-collar side job of sorts). Or, in my parents’ place in Poland where my family needs something from me at all times.
Plus, I work with people on a daily basis.
Moreover, I work as a bootstrapping solopreneur. It’s an ultra marathon for 12+ hours a day, 7 days a week.
It’s living the impossible life in which you singlehandedly manage your clients, partners, and contractors, and you still keep topic hand on the pulse, keep upskilling, and produce new content on a daily basis. It’s the SNAFU life.
As a result, fatigue accumulates over time. I feel an overwhelming burden on my shoulders and my working memory decays. My brain feels like an overheating computer with clogged browsers that badly need cache cleaning.
Why Prague?
Naturally, that’s why I jumped on the bus and spent the past few days in Prague, Czechia. Despite crowds of tourists, it is an extremely cozy and silent city as a capital.
Notably, when I travel, I typically don’t visit museums but rather, walk down the city streets, talk to the locals, go drinking and dancing, and try to get the gist of how it feels to live around there.
For some reason, Prague attracts peaceful and chilled tourists who primarily wish to sightsee, eat, and spend time with their families. Smiling faces everywhere. Not one person yelling in the yard after dark.
Not one piece of garbage on the streets. No bad smells. No crime.
Plus a flavor of roasted cheese in the air. Wonderful.
So, please don’t ask me what is there to see in Prague. The best thing to see in Prague is Prague.
It’s so… Pragsome, or Pragish. Just come and feel on your skin what it means.
The Best Feeling in the World.
Indeed, during this short trip, I just remembered what the best feeling in the world is: the feeling of being the only person in the world.
In general, I live Miyamoto Musashi’s Path of the Loner, and being a solo traveler might be the best part of it.
In fact, I could finally offer my undivided attention to my favorite person… which is myself. And to the shell her ghost sits in.
I was located right in the city centre and my block felt like a ghost town. No shadow of a noise in my apartment. No unnecessary items.
Old trees in the yard. Barely any people or cars in the streets. It was almost creepy.
Plus, people are occupied with themselves downtown. Yes, technically it’s a crowd, but in practice, no one talks to me. People smile and pass by.
Indeed, just as if I was walking around in a parallel universe. No one wants anything from me — what a bliss!
Only God and Me.
I also finally found some time for an internal dialogue with God. They painted beautiful views on the sky for me; all from an incredible cloud festival to a double rainbow in the sky.
Notably, I was sitting at Charles Bridge for hours in silent admiration. What a show!
And it’s all for free, just for me. In fact, the truth is that all the best things are for free; we just tend to keep looking down and overlook them.
Indeed, I used to have black thoughts when traveling. My “dark passenger” was getting triggered and turned on every time I was alone in the crowd. And especially in beautiful places.
And so I used to distance myself and zoom out, thinking about the imploding humanity and the black, uncertain future for us all. Now, for some reason, the dark passenger was silent. And so I was asking myself, “Where the heck is my favorite monster?”
What Happened to Dark Passenger?
And frankly, I have no idea what changed since my twenties — times when dark passenger used to wreck my mind any time I was left alone in a room.
Perhaps it’s a result of 13 years of living in the Netherlands, a country where people can switch off their inner voice, truly chill, and relax… and they are proud of it. According to the World Happiness Report (2024), the Netherlands ranks sixth happiest in the world.
As a comparison, Polish music is mostly rock or hip hop; both genres strongly rely on lyrics that mostly tackle how hard, painful, and unfair life is. When you go to a concert, you go there to suffer together with the artist and experience “catharsis.” According to Sachs, Damasio and Habibi (2015), sad music can be pleasurable because it helps restore emotional balance.
In the Netherlands on the contrary, the most popular music genres, EDM and techno, are all about the beat and the melody. When you go to a concert, you go there to jump, sweat, enjoy, and dance out all your problems.
Indeed, this difference well represents general differences between the two nations. Notably, while Polish are bitter philosophers and tragic poets by nature, the Dutchies are more like hobbits enjoying their local hobbitons (especially on the weekends): gardening, barbecuing, drinking beers, and singing along in the sun. As a result, after 13 years of this, no dark passenger would survive.
Another thing is human physiology. In recent years, I spent an insane amount of time and resources on putting together my mind and body (which I summarised in the article entitled “The Piano”). Perhaps it’s now that I can finally collect the fruit of my work and enjoy life properly.
Only One Itchy Thing…
Notably, the only thing disturbing my peace of mind in Prague was this omnipresent melting ice cream.
Man, I avoid melting ice cream more than anything. Indeed, it evokes all the bad emotions one can possibly evoke: disgust, feeling of loss, black thoughts about late capitalism… Argh.
Whenever I see someone sitting in front of their ice cream dessert and chatting while the ice cream is melting, I get a shudder and I can’t focus on anything else. What’s wrong with you people?
Love Yourself.
Notably, in daily life, I feel like I used to give more than I got. In the vast majority of my daily conversations, I have to lead the thought exchange — while most of my interlocutors take the “Entertain me!” attitude. As a result, whenever I get silent and switch on the listening mode, the conversation slowly dies out.
On the other hand, whenever I’m on my own, everything seems funny (without weed intake, if that’s your next question). Indeed, I don’t need any interlocutor; I keep entertaining myself. The goofiest thoughts come to mind and life just feels joyful.
And I keep on asking myself: “What would you like to do right now, honey? Go for a duck with honey to that Thai place?
Dance at the Charles Bridge? Have a glass of Nero d’Avola and watch another drama on YouTube?”
And then, I just do it. Whatever I decide to do, I never feel bored. Because my goofy foolish hungry mind works 24/7.
Hah, drama… what about it?
Catching Up on the World’s Drama.
Notably, I landed in Prague at the most interesting time of all. The controversial Olympic Games in Paris were happening, the hot Mr Beast drama on YouTube was unfolding (the guy who called himself Mr. Beast turned out to be a beast), and the crazy US presidential race had just taken another unexpected turn with Kamala Harris announcing her running mate, Tim Walz.
Indeed, I had way too much juicy stuff to watch every night after coming back from the city tour. According to the International Olympic Committee, the 2024 Paris Games ran from July 26 to August 11, 2024.
Yes, humanity is about to implode soon but now, unlike before, I am blissfully fine about it. So much free entertainment!
Indeed, if that’s not enough, there are still thousands of true crime and horror movies, just to see enjoy guts on screen as a late-night relaxation.
Plus, since it was vacation, I didn’t keep the diet as strictly as I used to do in daily life — and so I let go and got myself some booze. I can definitely blame my cursed gene pool for this hobby.
Indeed, after these few days, one conclusion surfaced in my mind: I love myself THE MOST — I would literally marry myself if I could. Notably, I don’t know if dopamine has any objective scale, but I felt like flying.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, a burst of dopamine signals the brain that something worth repeating is happening — part of why intense, novel experiences can feel so rewarding. Can it ever feel better than that? Is it worth giving up peace of mind?
Please cite as:
Bielczyk, N. (2024, August 11th). Where is the Dark Passenger? A Postcard From Prague. Retrieved from: https://nataliabielczyk.com/a-postcard-from-prague/
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