Is My Trip To Masuria Finally Coming Up?

It seemed too good to be true… Just a few days ago, I felt thrilled about the prospect of a peaceful July. Overall, this meant finally being free from years of holiday stress.

I pictured serene mornings. I imagined focusing on my tasks—especially my math work—and sorting through various bits and pieces, memories, and document translations.

I was keeping an eye on the elections, enjoying cabarets on YouTube, and jogging through the woods. Furthermore, I was also planning a late autumn getaway and looking for funds for a plane ticket. I was browsing the Internet for good deals.

And most importantly, leisurely packing my backpack with the anticipation of taking the train to Masuria. According to Luo et al. (2018), brain-imaging research shows that simply anticipating a positive future event activates reward-related regions. Moreover, this anticipation is linked to higher well-being, quite apart from the event ever happening.

What Did I Picture for My Time in Masuria?

There, I would immerse myself in the green forests. I would also spend time with wonderful people and enjoy my first proper vacation in six years. All this while hoping life wouldn’t suddenly fall apart, as it often does.

However, my happiness was short-lived. Just yesterday, I got the news that next week I’ll be facing a mathematical challenge at the department.

Specifically, this challenge is scheduled for Thursday. It wouldn’t be so bad if math weren’t my Achilles’ heel.

I had been mentally preparing for weeks of study. But as it turns out, the advisor can’t make it one day, the reviewer another… and so on.

The showdown is in a week. Drama, upheaval, and chaos.

In this situation, I make a promise to myself. Regardless of success or failure, next Thursday afternoon, I’ll still pack my backpack and head into the unknown. Whether to celebrate happiness or to soothe disappointment, it doesn’t matter. 

What Did I Learn in My Very First Polish Literature Class in High School?

Another thought that comes to mind is my very first Polish literature class in high school.

We discussed antiquity and whether we’d want to be immortal. I said I probably wouldn’t, as I wouldn’t want to see my loved ones age, fall ill, and pass away.

My friends agreed. I remember someone saying, “There are always unresolved matters.” 

The point being that immortality might not be worth it. Indeed, there’s always something left unfinished, even when everything seems sorted.

According to Vail, Juhl, Arndt, Vess, Routledge, and Rutjens (2012), confronting the finitude of life can enhance people’s sense of meaning. Counterintuitively, it also motivates people to pursue their goals rather than diminish their drive.

This holds true: I’m chasing after a vacation that doesn’t really exist because vacation is a state of mind. According to Grant, Buchanan and Shockley (2025), a meta-analysis of vacation research was conducted.

This analysis found that the well-being boost from time off is larger and longer-lasting than earlier studies suggested, especially when people mentally detach from work. And a determined person, when faced with lounging on the couch or tackling the next task, often chooses the latter.

According to Hsee, Yang, and Wang (2010), people tend to be happier staying busy than being idle. And often seek out a justifiable task rather than choosing to do nothing.

Still, I’m determined to make my way to Masuria someday.