Why Am I Running From Mundane Jobs?

I’ll be sharing my Master’s Thesis in Psychology here at the blog very soon. Right now, my tutor is giving it a once-over. Meanwhile, thoughts about the future keep swirling in my mind.

It’s amazing how different my current situation is from when I graduated high school. Back then, even though I was unsure about which college to choose, I felt this immense calm.

While everyone else was rushing to tutoring sessions and exam prep courses, strategizing to boost their chances of getting into their dream university. And easing into college life through parties, I was the odd one out.

I was simply doing what I enjoyed and thinking maybe a week ahead about my future. All the chaos around me seemed surprising, and aside from a few unique friends, my life felt mundane.

Now, as my peers and I move from university to independent adulthood, it’s almost the opposite. According to Arnett (2000), the twenties are typically a period of identity exploration and instability. Only later do people settle into stable adult roles, which makes this rush toward safety and conformity somewhat unusual.

I see so many talented individuals who conform, blend in, settle for mundane jobs below their potential, earn symbolically low wages, find a partner, and dream of a peaceful life. They shy away from effort, pain, and adrenaline as if they’re harmful.

Why Do I Feel Different From My Peers?

In contrast, I’m full of energy, unable to imagine such a life. If something bothers me, I’m quick to address it rather than accept it.

I’m curious about what’s caused me to develop such a proactive stance towards life in just five years. According to Bateman and Crant (1993), proactive personality is a stable disposition to seek out opportunities and initiate change rather than passively adapt to one’s circumstances. 

It’s hard to ignore that many people in their twenties gradually lose their vitality and spirit. Perhaps I’m no exception.

Even my own mother, once a regular university student with a calm life, now sleeps only 5-6 hours a day. She lives intensely, motivating me to explore, travel, and experience more.

According to Steinberg (2008), the capacity for self-regulation continues developing into young adulthood as cognitive control systems mature. This may partly explain why thrill-seeking and vitality tend to fade for many people during this period.

Where Does This Energy Come From, and What Does It Cost?

As someone drawn to science, I’m naturally curious about the origins and possible outcomes of this phenomenon. My mother’s tendency to take risks worries me. Drinking coffee and beer despite high blood pressure or daring driving, which hasn’t always ended well.

I’m also noticing some self-destructive tendencies in myself and fear that sooner or later, it might lead to unfortunate consequences. According to Rau, Shojaa, Montano, and Schmitz (2023), health-related behaviors, including risky ones, tend to be transmitted from parents to their adult children. This happens both through direct modeling and shared lifestyle patterns.