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Project “Safety”
It was a windy Sunday evening in San Francisco, filming my Tai Chi routine on a rooftop, when I realized I couldn’t bring myself to approach the glass barrier — not fear of heights, but of myself. That moment forced me to confront twenty years of quietly accumulating overstimulation and a lack of safety, both internal and external. From two derailed PhDs to launching a company right before a pandemic, to standing at forty caught between building a business and building a family, I trace the “unequal race” that led me to burnout. What follows is my personal codex — eleven rules for redefining safety in 2026.
My Brain and Me
An Ayurvedic doctor once told me my mind felt older than my body. Here, a neuroscientist maps the specific ways her own mind runs clogged and fatigued — and the practical, sometimes strange, fixes she is testing to restore it.
How Childhood Beliefs Quietly Run Your Life Like an Operating System
Most core beliefs are formed in early childhood and quietly shape our adult lives by influencing our decisions, attention, and the way reality seems to respond to us. Some become deeply empowering; others turn into invisible constraints on relationships, self-worth, and money. Real change requires reaching the subconscious layer where these patterns first formed.
The Great Flip: On the Evolution of Passion
My passions keep flipping over time, each one growing out of the wounds left by the last. Here is what that cycle of burnout, doubt, and rebirth has taught me about staying in the game for the long run.
Bootstrapping: Essay
I’d dare to say that in every working environment, there is some “great lie.” That one thing they tell you to control you. My feeling is that, in the startup world, the great lie is ”get yourself funded.” Getting funding in itself is often treated as success in itself, and taken as a stamp of quality.
The Runway: How Much Fuel Do You Have?
Business development is a never-ending series of wins and losses, golden shots and crude mistakes, shiny peaks and dark valleys. I made many small mistakes along the way because I was simply green. It’s my first company, after all. However, today, I’d like to talk about one crude mistake that almost killed all my business ventures.
Where is the Dark Passenger? A Postcard From Prague
I’ve just come back from a 5-day masturdating extravaganza in Prague, Czechia. It was my first vacation since a trip to Burning Man two years ago. Some conclusions from the trip will follow.
Natalia’s Dream Boy
This is not your typical morning news. Let me tell you a little story of betrayal, self-development, and setting personal standards.
If You Are Going To San Francisco… My 25 Tips and Tricks on Networking in the City
Twenty-five hard-won lessons on networking in San Francisco: how to find the hubs, adjust to the tribe, net-weave at meetups, make yourself useful, protect your reputation, and play the long game. Plus a few brutal truths about extractors, void communities, and why the city rewards those who stay different.
The Temple: How To Survive as a Consultant in the Bay Area?
I am soon departing for my next trip toward the Bay Area. Which is clearly not the most comfortable place to find yourself in as a consultant. For a long time, I wondered why this is so, and finally came to some (perhaps interesting) conclusions.
The Key To Success as a Solopreneur and Bootstrapper: How To Work With Subcontractors?
It is essential for any little bootstrapping business to get the best people for your project and keep them around. I believe that now after the corona crisis, project-based work with subcontractors will become much more common than before. And, I don’t hold my recipe for dealing with subcontractors a secret at all. In this article, I list my 10 golden rules working with subcontractors.
Hard Work Makes Me High
I have always worked hard since I was 6 or 7 years old — and I genuinely love it. In this article, I confess my love for hard work and argue for more tolerance toward how other people choose to spend their time.
The Piano
Here is my definition of a talent: When you are happy, you feel compelled to do it. When you are sad, you feel compelled to do it. That’s what writing is to me. It’s like playing piano. You can play energico — with energy, enthusiasm, and zest. Or, you can play grave — solemn and contemplative. Both beautiful. Today, I will play it grave.
House Is Not Home: How My Travels Influenced My Thoughts About Life
House is not home. After years of travels and self-development experiments, I reflect on what home means to me, what motivates me, and why the digital-nomad life is not my path.
At the Rainbow’s End: On the Phantom Boss
It’s been 5 years since my contract expired, yet I still feel weirdly anxious on Sundays, as if a phantom boss is watching me. On the 40-hour workweek, freelance guilt, and why DAOs might be the antidote.
On Being Selfish
This Wednesday, I woke up with a twisted stomach and a fast heartbeat, and I asked myself, “Why doesn’t this monster finally leave me alone and let me go?” I went through cognitive therapy, hypnotherapy, SSRIs, meditation, sauna, vacations, socializing, self-care… Nothing works. Just nothing. It’s only getting worse and worse. And then, I found out why.
Content Creator Against The World: On Creativity, Eternal Struggle, and The Painful Process of Becoming a Leader
On creativity, the eternal struggle of content creators, and the painful process of becoming a leader — what fuels creative work, why so few understand it, and what leadership quietly costs.
My Personal Approach To Investing (As Of Today)
I recently had conversations with friends who couldn’t understand some of my investment decisions. So I decided to write down my current, rather unorthodox, personal investment strategy — covering people, skills, and even “random bullshit” as assets.
HAPE: When Technology, Fashion, and Community Come Together
Last year, non-fungible tokens (NFTs) made headlines and came to the spotlight when the prices of CryptoPunks by Larva Labs, a pixelated collection of digital art referring to the pop-cultural tradition of Cyberpunk, skyrocketed in prices. Now, the times when NFTs nostalgia alone was enough to carry the project, are long gone. The space evolved, developed, and has become highly competitive.
The Primal Fear (The Monsters Sleep Tonight)
I felt anxiety and experienced attacks of panic ever since I remember, and I haven’t done anything about it for the last 20 years. Until now.
Natalia Wants To Dance
The same story all over again. The Dutch government announces the next lockdown. Which one is it this time?… Fifth? Sixth? All the convention stores and locals get closed after 8pm again. People walk around in face masks again. And all the madness on the media starts all over. But this time, I sad “Stop!” … and I took a plane just to have a proper dance.
The Edge of Seventeen
What is the price of your dreams? I analyzed my dreams recently, and concluded that they are expensive due to one particular drug.
The Most Expensive Drug Of All Time (On The Price of Your Dreams)
What is the price of your dreams? I analyzed my dreams recently, and concluded that they are expensive due to one particular drug.
Building Personal Development Skills In the Shadow of The Imposter Syndrome
In the pandemic, I had way more than enough time to think about what I want from life and what kind of mission I would like to accomplish. The concept was baking in the back of my head for a long time. And here it is.
How To Create a Business Development Strategy As a Person Who Never Competes
I have never competed for anything: not at school, not for a house, not in sports. So how does a person like that build a business? By starting with why, choosing new and different over better and bigger, and swimming in a blue ocean rather than a red one. Here is my non-competitive business development strategy.
Pencils of the Digital Era
While most Millenials and Z-generation are obsessed with building influencial projects that change people’s lives, thousands of people out there become wealthy steadily and silently – by providing simple online services that solve little everyday problems.
5 “Best” Business Models in the World
Can you build an unflappable business model? A perpetuum mobile that always works, no matter what? Oh yes, you can. In this article, I list five such business models. Should you take an example from them? Well…
Poland Fights With COVID
There are lots of stereotypical opinions you can hear about Polish people world-wide. Hard-working, with a tendency to steal, yet traditional and religious. But one undeniable fact about Polish society is that it can be unbelievably creative and solidary — especially in times of crisis. And that shows especially clearly when you take a look at how Polish entrepreneurs deal with the lockdown.
My Biggest Little Achievements of 2020 — Part 2
Last week I posted 10 of my little wins of 2020. And now to the bottom of things!
My Biggest Little Achievements of 2020 — Part 1
2020 was impossibly long — and to say that it was a good year, would be a far stretch. Yet, I believe that this year allowed us to figure out better what is really important for us — not only at work but also in life — and what is not, and to focus on our core projects. Or at least, it is how it worked for me.
Why You Should Never Buy Bitcoin
You might be watching Bitcoin price charts with interest or even with excitement. Perhaps, you already bought it. Or you are seriously considering it. Just wait a second.
Starring at the Sun
The summer is over for a long time now, yet, I’m in a mood to bring some memories from this summer. Of course, it wasn’t a typical summertime but rather, quite an unusual one. It’s hard to neglect that the corona crisis changed the landscape of what you can or can’t possibly do.
The Winter Is Coming! My Top 5 Tips How You Can Prepare Your Mind and Body
This is a difficult year for everyone. It’s not only due to the decrease in global productivity, the crisis in the job market, and the fact that we suffer from limited personal freedom. And the winter is coming! Here in the Netherlands, winters are always dim and a bit depressive, and it’s often hard to find the energy to jump out of bed in the morning.
Should You Write Your Own Blog?
Have you ever thought of writing your own blog? Perhaps, as a way of promoting yourself as a person, promoting your expertise, or your little business? Or, as a way to foster your creativity and put your ideas on paper before you forget about them? Perhaps this blog post will help you make the decision to start (or to bury your plans!).
How to (De)motivate an Employee?
Can a raise in salary infuriate an employee? Yes, it can. Especially if that employee is an ambitious person with a PhD. And it’s all about the timing.
Come on, Ladies! On Women In Professional Environment
As we all know, women don’t have an easy time in their professional lives. However, while working with lots of people in pursuit of improving their situation in the job market, I noticed that some women also involuntarily make their situation in the job market even harder than it already is — in at least five different ways.
How I Fail
This blog post is a recording from an interview I did for Veronika Cheplygina’s blog series “How I Fail.” It’s all about the mindset and personal strategies that helped me in getting over hardship and difficulties—both in academia and in industry. Most of these strategies, I learned by trial and error and I’m happy to now share them with you.
The Days of Greatness
I wish creativity was less painful. I wish I was just waking up in the morning with a good mood and had great, groundbreaking ideas all day long. But unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that — to me, creativity is the other side of the same coin as Weltschmetrz.
The Only Justice in the World
In general, this world is not just. Some people are born more wealthy than others. Some people are born prettier than others. Some people naturally have more energy than others. Some people learn faster than others. Some people, for some reason, receive more recognition and appreciation for their work than others. But, there is one thing just for all.
The Signs In Your Career Development
Are there any signs in heaven and earth that can tell us along the way what we should eventually be doing in our professional lives — these little cues thrown to our feet along the way that we tend to ignore until there are so many of them that the truth just becomes obvious?
Mum, Dad, I’m a YouTuber!
In the darkest times during graduate school, when I was completely out of energy and I saw no light in the tunnel, I used to think to myself, “Hey, don’t worry. It’s not that bad of a job. It could have been much worse — you could have been a YouTuber.” But, the irony will prevail.
Why Did I REALLY Leave Academia? Top 16 Reasons
Since I just finally defended my PhD thesis, now, I can finally talk about the real reasons why I left academia (although I didn’t really quit doing research! — these are two separate and almost unrelated things…). And, I didn’t necessarily leave for the reasons that most people think I did.
What You Should Know Before Starting a PhD
This blog post is dedicated to Master students who are at the end of their Master’s programs, and consider going to grad school. What are the pros and cons of going for the academic career, as compared to starting an industry job? What is the best motivation to start a PhD?
The Mice Heaven
When I see Elon’s efforts to colonize Mars and help the humanity in becoming a powerful, multi-planet civilization, I smile. I smile because I know that before we are technically able to colonize any other planet, it might be that in a hundred years, there will be no humanity left. And this is all due to convenience.
The Balance Theory
Have you ever wondered why whenever two of your friends argue, you immediately get that itchy feeling that this will end up badly for you in one way or another? Or why, once you have just one conflict in a group of people, it starts propagating across the group like a virus? There is a forgotten theory in psychology that explains all this.
What Motivates You? On The Alfred Adler’s Theory of Human Motivation
We are all home-grown psychologists. We have all heard about Sigmund Freud, Carl Gustav Jung, Zimbardo’s Stanford experiment, or Milgram’s experiment. But, have you ever heard about Alfred Adler? Well, maybe you should.
High-flyers
When working with academics planning their first post-PhD jobs in the industry, one pattern keeps coming back: the more accomplished the person is in academic terms, the more difficult time they have with finding their first jobs outside academia. The underdogs on the other hand — the early career researchers who are nowhere near that accomplished, and who are often disrespected by their bosses and considered poor academics — are much quicker and more accurate in finding their next career paths. Often happier there as well.
Things I Learned In Academia, For The Good And For The Bad
Today, I would like to list a few things that I learned while doing science for the last 8 years. Some of these habits are helpful and make my life much easier now, while other things actually make my life harder.
How Would You Like (Them) To Feel? On Relations in Career Development
Interviewing people with interesting (and difficult!) career paths and rare professions, yields interesting conclusions. Namely, these people they tend to share one interesting characteristic: from a very early age, they know what role towards other people they would prefer to play.
A Wrinkle In Time. What Influences Our Personal Development?
Recently, I was invited to record a podcast for the PhD Career Stories series. The point of this episode, was to explain how I found myself in the place I am in right now, both career-wise and mentally. This is always an interesting question as most people—including me—are rather poor at assessing the real causes of events that happen to them. In the process of recording that episode, I realized a few important things about how the past influences the present that I would like to share here.
From Home: Tips and Tricks For Working From a Home Office
The corona crisis turned millions of us into home-office workers overnight. Here is why working from home is harder than it looks: no commute limbo, no small talk, constant comparison, and a fridge full of temptation. Plus five mental tricks that keep me going, from sparing mercy to building a mastermind group.
The Tree. How Does Professional Development Shape Your Personality?
A few days ago I had a long and interesting conversation with a friend who started doubting in her future in academia. She complained that academic life negatively changes both personality and mindset. This made me think a lot.
New Years Resolutions For 2020
Frankly speaking, I am not sure how to set New Year’s resolutions properly so that all my plans come true—usually, my success rate is about 50%. This year, I am planning to do “only” eight things better than the year before.
What I Learned This Year. My Personal Development In 2019
2019 was the year I left academia for good and started a company. Ten lessons from it: my work has value, do it first and talk later, little addictions ruin your life, choose people carefully, select the information you let in, haters gonna hate, and I adore talking to people about their careers.
How To Write a Book?
To write a book, three conditions need to come together. Firstly, you need to have some interest in writing and enjoy the process. Secondly, you need to have a lot of time to be able to focus on this task. Thirdly, you need to have a topic for a book, where you can contribute some new, valuable content. Recently, I felt that all the stars aligned – so I decided to write a book.
The Millenial Curse
Well, I was thinking a lot about my identity as a Millennial these days. This is because since my PhD contract has expired, I somehow started turning towards making (or perhaps, trying to make) impact. I took a resolution to listen to intuition when making career choices, and I didn’t know the endpoint when I was starting.
Navigate
I was always wondering why some people are so lucky in life – they are neither geniuses nor work that hard, yet always find themselves in the right place at the right moment, gather the right people around them, embark on the best projects or get the best jobs. Now I think I know.
People Is the Answer
It’s been a long road up to this point, since I left my parents’ place at the age of 18. But, when I look back at the past 15 years, I some some patterns clearly, coming over over again. First of all, I see that there is only one asset which has been systematically accumulating over these 15 years. It was not money, which you can easily lose in the nearest bubble. It was not knowledge, which can become useless once you change the discipline or profession. It was actually people.
How I Became a Business Developer
I always thought that the common beliefs that everything happens for a reason, and that eventually, you will start connecting the dots, is a pseudo-intellectual bullshit sold to the masses for big bucks by Tony Robbins and others alike. And now, I am starting to wonder.
A Toxic Relationship
Sometimes, only a real thunderstorm can make you realise that you have been in one and only toxic relationship for all your life – a relationship with your work.
What I Learned past Few Months…
…about entrepreneurship and entrepreneurs. In this time I was attending quite a few conferences in industry, I was informally involved in some projects, and I made many entrepreneurial friends. And, I was observing. As for a researcher who spent her whole youth solving integral equations, this is quite a new and exotic experience. I am on the learning curve now, in this fascinating new world. Hereby, I would like to list a few stereotypes I had about entrepreneurs, and how I feel about these stereotypes right now.
Respect
According to a common opinion, former researchers tend to function really well as entrepreneurs. This is true. However, there is one useful quality missing in academia – which turned out to be very painful to me when I went a little bit more into the entrepreneurial direction. Namely, in academia, no one teaches us how to value our time.
Real Choices, Fake Choices
At some point I realised that the decision on whether or not to stay in academia – or in other words, whether to do research or focus on commercial projects instead – is not the real choice I need to make right now. In fact, the real choice is: how much am I willing to risk? Let me explain.
Born to Do It
One insight I remember from all the motivational books and movies I ever consumed is that, entrepreneurs always underscore how difficult it is to go against your relatives and friends when it comes to risking, investing and dropping day jobs on behalf of starting new ventures. In my case, family and friends react completely differently than in most cases I ever heard of – and it gives me goose bumps.
15 Years Later
I spent Christmas among family and friends quite as every time before. However, this time, I also had a few afterthoughts as there are some examples of common knowledge that stroke me really hard. You might hear some simple truths from your parents and teachers over and over again – or read about it from motivational books – but after all, you only learn how important they are when you see the consequences in real life.
The Gap Year – Vol. 2
Seven more lessons from my gap year after the PhD: sleep beats all-nighters, I care more about neuroscientists than neuroscience, a cash buffer matters, friends go but family stays, clear goals work, meetups outside your bubble are the third way, and word of mouth beats job boards.
The Tangle Approach
I was recently recommended to read the book by Emilie Wapnick ‘How to Be Everything: A Guide for Those Who (Still) Don’t Know What They Want to Be When They Grow Up’ (2017), dedicated to the concept of multipotentiality. In the book, Emilie refers to her own experience as a person who cannot fully commit herself to just one profession, but instead, has multiple passions and can only find fulfilment by sequentially indulging in multiple professions on her career path. When I read this book, I have a feeling that it resonates with my own story to a high extent. However, I developed my own model of labor, which I could call a tangle (or a plaid).
How to Conduct an Interview?
Perhaps, some latent hobbies or talents you inherit after your parents, but for a really long time, you do not realise this. I have recently discovered that I am actually fond of interviewing people. I also learned that an interview can go way smoother than expected when you follow just a few general rules. I would also like to share the tips in here – who knows, maybe it turns out useful for more people. We are not formally trained how to interview people during our scientific careers after all.
Mission: Impossible
How to predict the future? That’s the whole difficulty when it comes to making any choices, from choosing the right studies, through choosing the right friends, choosing the right investments, to choosing the right projects at work. A mundane, typical scientist (such as me) can produce one, two, sometimes three first-author publications per year – not much more is physically possible. In such a situation, it is crucial to choose the right projects.
The Gap Year
As Confucius famously said, choose the job that you love – and you will not need to work for a lifetime. However, this is all not that simple. As a matter of fact, the school system (or at least Polish school system), kills a lot of natural talents: knowledge served at schools is standardised and the amount of material you need to learn is so overwhelming that you are becoming a little robot, working days and nights for good grades. There is just no more room in your life to explore the environment around you, and learn about your own talents. This is exactly why I decided to conduct an experiment on myself; my contract expired some time ago and I came to a conclusion that it is a great opportunity to actually find out more about myself instead of jumping into a new job straight away.
What Trading Gave Me, and What It Stole from Me
Since a few weeks I have been doing research projects again, as opposed to past few months when I was mostly trading instead of doing any science. My aim was to work out an independent source of funding for myself, but also to rest from science for a little while in order to see if this relationship has a chance to last forever. So, trading turned out to be a refreshment of a particularly painful sort, as it did not make my daily life any easier – rather the opposite.
The Tragedy of Commons
The year of 2009 was groundbreaking, for at least two separate reasons. Firstly, on January 3rd of 2009, the genesis block of bitcoin was mined. Secondly, on October 12th of 2009, Elinor Claire “Lin” Ostrom has became the first woman awarded with a Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences, “for her analysis of economic governance, especially the commons”. The clue of this work is a phenomenon known in economy as the tragedy of commons. This phenomenon occurs when a group shares a resource, but at the same time, every individual acts on their own behalf, which is often against the common interest of the community. Can we spot the tragedy of commons in academia?
A Note on TeamWork
Yesterday was a nostalgic day not only for me, but for every Polish person there is. The reason is because one of our little heroes, Tomasz Mackiewicz, is dying in Karakorum, and no one can really save him from death at this point. Climbing in Himalayas can seem like a distant and exotic concept, but one thing we can definitely learn from mountaineers is a team work.
Mentorship
Up until now, research on the influence of mentorship on the career perspectives in young researchers is scarce. It seems that, in academia, there is a consensus that mentorship is beneficial in general, but the extent to which the positive effects of mentorship hold in the long term is not clear.
The Three-legged Stool
Today, the concept of a job is far from the original concept at the times of the industrial revolution. Back then, a worker was a person who wakes up in the morning, and leaves their household for the most of the day, in order to sell their time in an exchange for a salary. Having a job meant a physical work. Today, the job market is much more diverse – complex but also full of possibilities.
A Villain Is a Hero of Another Side
As every PhD student at the end of the contract, I slowly get the idea that publishing papers is a minor problem in a researcher’s life. There other, more painful issues, such as the environment fractioning into ‘team Brown’, ‘team Green’ et cetera – especially in circles developing new methods for data analysis. Such friendships and antipathies that last for ages before you even found yourself in the community, and once you appear as a fresh person, you do not necessarily understand why you are actually expected to love Mr Brown and hate Mr Green.
Taking Risks as a Path to Safety
In the famous riddle, you are supposed to connect all the dots with four straight lines. You can sweat and try as long as you like but you will always be just one line short from connecting all of them. Unless you look outside the box, and make yourself space beyond the limited area of the square – then, all of a sudden, everything becomes easy. The point is: as a scientist, you are pressed to do multitasking as well: as opposite to industry, in academia, you need to prove yourself in multiple different roles every day, and the collateral stress is inevitable whenever you are a good or a bad worker. So, how to deal with stress?
The Source of Disease
As a scientist, you are doomed to live in a shadow of deadlines, short contracts, and mutual dependencies as you are by definition bound to a dynamic web of people, some of whom might behave differently than expected. The collateral stress is inevitable whenever you are a good or a bad worker. And if you ask your family and friends about what to do with yourself in such conditions, they will all tell you: go for a walk, meditate, go to spa, relax, go to a therapy, grow flowers, stare at the blue sky, listen to your favourite music. All these activities are superficial and do not solve the true problem.
How To Deal with Students as a PhD Candidate?
Initially, I was hesitating for a long time if I can even manage to supervise a student. Namely, if I will be able to catch some good vibes and keep on going regardless of little bumps on the way which naturally pop out during research: you try and fail, and then try and fail again and again… But now, I must say that supervising students is a wonderful experience to me, and I consider it – so far – the most fulfilling part of the PhD track.
Artists and Craftsmen
Researchers have their personal styles of working, and some of them are more like craftsmen, whereas others are more like artists. And the irony is: in order to produce a novel scientific study and publish it well, you need to be an artist, but you also need to be a craftsman – and these two qualities are rarely to be found in one and the same person.
Uber
It seems to me that the whole Uber phenomenon is ephemeral as in a few years, cab drivers – especially here, in Sillicon Valley – will most probably be replaced by self-driving cars. However, it is interesting to observe this phenomenon from the psychological point of view.
The American Dream
A visit to California is an eye-opener. The Dutch job market could not be any more different from the American one. In the Netherlands, it is way easier to get funding when your project is eco-friendly, employee-friendly and has a societal impact. In Silicon Valley, the thinking is different — and after a week in Mountain View, I finally understand the idea behind the American dream.
To Read or Not to Read
‘Yes, people do become successful after reading motivational books but the thing that made them succeed is the same thing that had driven them to read the motivational book in the first place – The desire to succeed.’
To Be or Not to Be… a Sociopath
I noticed lots of similarities between the life of a scientist and a DJ. DJs spend their days creating music in the studio, behind closed doors, on their own. Then they go out to the crowd to play the new pieces during huge events. Once you are successful, everyone expects only high-class hits from now on. Can you then still be faithful to the rules you vowed to yourself at the start?
Important Versus Doable
There are two types of things: important things, and urgent things. Unimportant and urgent things should be delegated. Unimportant and non urgent things should be postponed (or delegated). Things that are important and urgent should be prioritised. Things that are important and non urgent, are the crucial ones and should be taken care of on the regular basis.
Passive Income
Passive income has become a popular key term over the past few years. It comprises all the possible ways of making money which you initiate and then can let go, so the money keeps on producing itself. This Christmas I went through the e-books, courses, YouTube channels and real-estate strategies — and here is what I found out about which of them actually work.
Freedom
I could not understand how people can deliberately abuse their own freedom. I guess that people are naturally afraid of decision making, which might explain why reducing choices to the minimum might soothe them a little bit, and give them some comfort of not being obliged to take a decision.
Competitiveness
What does the competitiveness come from? It is not a very prominent feature of the Dutch society – this society is more about equity and cooperation. No wonder: once you look at the educational program at the Dutch primary schools, the first class they ever have is ‘working in teams’. Which is very much in opposition to Polish schools where they were always telling us to compete.
YouTube Culture
Just a few years back, kids posting on YouTube were a niche phenomenon with a small audience of hipsters. Now many of these – usually teenage – performers have a nationwide audience. Interestingly, even though YouTube is a completely unsupervised and nonhierarchical system, the mechanisms which evolved in this community are similar to science: similar issues and similar coping strategies.
Luck
The popular belief is that people who perceive themselves as successful and lucky are those who just take opportunities – notice the money lying on the street and take it. Or, those who interpret some events as lucky whereas others would perceive the same events as unlucky. But how much of success in academia is really luck?
Happiness Is Not Forever
Happiness is not given forever. You can put yourself together and fool yourself that happy times are for good, but in fact, the feeling of happiness will vanish away with time if you do not take care of it properly. It is just like a plant that needs to be watered every day.
Going Dark
I sometimes wonder what happens during the maturation process, when people slowly turn from fragile, troubled and empathic PhD students into a bit psychopathic, emotionless and calculated bosses. Everyone believes they will never copy their PIs’ mistakes. So how does it happen? A dispute with my neighbours gave me a hint.
Teaching
Recently I started teaching, and I have a plentora of feelings relating to this new experience. First to say, it is definitely true what they say: 80% of our fears is completely unnecessary.
About the Effects of Living in a Nice Country
The doctors were truly confused; they knew about my previous records, but could not explain what had happened to my body in the meantime. But I think I know why this is the case. My lifestyle did not change since seven years ago. Only one thing substantially changed.
All These Exams
I was studying extensively in Warsaw, where I was going through three Master programs at a time. Throughout my studies, I experienced a lot of less and more painful exams. Some were funny, some were nerve wrecking. I think the fact that I had such a long list of exams and qualifications to take, might play a positive role on the general stress resilience.
Productivity
‘Productive’. A simple word, however it bells in my ears like a threat. In Poland, no one around me was ever describing themselves as productive. In the Netherlands, I hear this expression quite often, which might be due to the competitive nature of science here. Every time I hear about it, I start wondering: am I productive? What if not?
End of the Year Summary
The end of the year is coming, which is a perfect occasion for little considerations of what happened in 2015, and what is, hopefully, about to happen in 2016. Some of my goals were achieved and some other goals I have to put on hold. However, in general, I feel that I am going towards the right direction.
Second Life
Current November is probably the happiest November by far, even after correction for the weather. You know, when you are a researcher, every happy day is a success itself. And, in addition to that, if you are an ex-depressed person, every happy day is one step away from death and one step towards life. You’ve got to fight for every single day, literally.
Imposter Syndrome
I just had a really wild attack of the imposter complex. This is when you feel that others overestimate your mental and physical capabilities. Pretty much everyone is academia suffers from it, it is just that some people overcome this effect better than others.
Overcoming Fears
Human brain can rewire so quickly… I remember the rainy days four years ago when I first came to Nijmegen and tried to survive at the very place. During my studies I hadn’t had too many programming courses, neither I had opportunities to present science. No wonder that programming and presentations were my two biggest nightmares. Now, they are my two favourite and most relaxing activities at work.
Impossible Is Nothing: I Am Buying a House in Nijmegen!
Once in a while, you have that feeling that you are going through a period when lots of extraordinary things happen one after another. These are some truly career-defining moments that change your life and that you will never forget. It was certainly one of them.
What Do Successful People Say
Singers, sportsmen, writers, famous bloggers and motivational speakers, Noblists, inventors, enterpreneurs and famous CEOs. All these people think shockingly similar about the rules for success.
Research or Branding? How To Effectively Self-Manage in Academia
Science is business. If you don’t understand this simple fact, you won’t get too far in academia. Unfortunately, very many of us, PhD candidates, do not understand this. This might be because, in science, the real currency differs from money. In fact, there are several currencies. The number of publications, impact factor, time. So, how to self-manage in these conditions?
On Academia and Whereabouts: Insights From Grad School
In this blog post, I list my recent insights from grad school: on academic structure, team work, and effective networking at conferences. I hope that in case you are an early-stage researcher, these insights turn out to be helpful to you!
Postcard From the Mountains: What Hiking Taught Me About Science
Academic life is not easy. “The closer to the sky, the closer to hell.” Well, so far, I manage somehow but it took me a long time to grow this skin. Hiking helped me get tougher and persevere. So, I created a list of 21 things that mountaineering has taught me about science so far. Some are obvious and cliché, but I hope some of them will be useful to you.
On Those Who Gave Up On Their Dreams / Working On My Physical Condition
I am slowly breaking down the physical barriers I was stuck in. Before I lost my job and my dream guy, I was a couch potato who worked out maybe an hour a week. Then I decided to become an athlete: daily workouts, the top of Kilimanjaro, a mountaineering course, the 4-Daagse march, and finally the 100-km Dodentocht in Bornem, Belgium.
Time Flies… On The Passage of Time
The sense of time… When you’re at a party and have a good time, time flies much faster. Maybe that’s my problem — I do what I enjoy in life, I have nice people around, I enjoy good weather, I’m in good shape, I don’t have any particular problems. And every time I look at my watch, I realize that a month or two has passed again, and I don’t even know when.
On Subjective Time Perception
Recently, due to seemingly unrelated things, I realized that I have a problem. Well, in order to console my friend who had some worries, I also started to think about the things that were bothering me. And I concluded that my perception of time was deeply disturbed.
On Peace of Mind
Living in the Netherlands is good, especially when it is sunny and you can spend Sundays wandering the countryside. My level of happiness has gone up too. I noticed it when my housemates started complaining about our living conditions and I realized I had nothing to complain about at all.
How To Produce a Highly Ranked Publication
I recently got to see what it looks like to build a serious scientific article from scratch. I usually meet papers from the other side, reverse-engineering the author’s intentions from thousands of details. This time I sit in lab meetings and watch Postdocs brainstorm how to turn a very simple thought into an influential paper. It is so interesting, and it gives me hope.
On Progress in My PhD and in Life
- I’m thrilled about my PhD progress, particularly programming a game for mice using Blender. Despite challenges, like the flu, this project feels incredibly rewarding and aligns perfectly with my academic background.
- Reflecting on life, I’ve noticed that as I age, my connections with people evolve. Surprisingly, by focusing less on relationships, I’ve met many fascinating individuals, especially during my travels and after moving closer to the university.
- I’ve also grown more philosophical, trusting that setbacks, like my stock market loss, happen for a reason. This belief in a higher purpose helps me balance my professional goals with personal contentment.
A Lonely Hike in the Andes
I embarked on a solo hike to Lake Potrerillos, seeking solitude in the Andes. The unmarked trail led me through dense bushes and fog, but I persevered and eventually reached the summit, despite challenging conditions. The fog was so thick that I couldn’t see the waterfall I aimed to find, yet I felt immense satisfaction knowing I had reached my goal. The eerie landscape and unexpected encounters added to the surreal experience. After my hike, I was invited to a barbecue by some locals, which ended my day with warmth and new culinary insights. Despite losing all my photos, the journey left me with a deep sense of fulfillment and joy.
Impressions and Memories From My Stay in Chile
I discovered some surprising habits among Chilean locals, like feeding seafood to chickens and unconventional practices at a university that left me astonished and amused. Chile’s approach to art is unique and unconventional, blurring the lines between reality and creativity. I was captivated by the vibrant and spontaneous artistic expressions that differ greatly from European norms. Living in Chile has made me realize I might have a Latin soul, which explains why I never felt fully at home in Europe. My experiences here are helping me find clarity and a renewed sense of purpose in life.
Summer School in Chile
My first visit to South America was eye-opening, where I experienced a mix of Americanized culture, high prices despite being a third-world region, and evident social inequalities, especially in places like Panama City. Living with a Chilean family taught me about resourcefulness and the warmth of the locals, who even renovated their home out of excitement for hosting a European guest. This experience sparked new ideas for my dream home. The summer school in Chile was transformative. I learned to focus on my own growth rather than comparing myself to others, which led to personal success, new connections, and a renewed belief in my ability to tackle challenging projects.
My First Time in the High Tatra Mountains: Impressions from the Mountaineering Course
I recently discovered the rugged beauty of mountaineering and the sense of camaraderie it brings, especially in places like the Tatra Mountains and Chata Pri Zelenom Plese. Despite the challenges and discomforts, the experience was deeply fulfilling. The mountaineering course was tough, especially for a beginner like me, but it offered valuable lessons in climbing skills and mountain safety. The stories of dangerous expeditions, like the 2013 Nanga Parbat massacre, highlighted the seriousness of the sport. Reflecting on the course, I realized the importance of mental preparedness in mountaineering. I might have been too eager to challenge the Andes, and now I believe it’s wiser to build my fitness and skills before attempting such a demanding expedition.
Rough Beginnings of a Doctoral Program
I find great satisfaction in achieving internal coherence by aligning my professional and personal pursuits, like studying the brain and pushing my physical limits in mountaineering. This balance brings clarity and purpose to my life. Mountaineering has taught me valuable lessons about setting clear goals, assembling the right tools and team, and maintaining focus. These principles have significantly reduced my work-related stress and increased my confidence in my PhD project. My new PhD project on ADHD is both ambitious and challenging, involving cutting-edge research techniques like optogenetics and two-photon imaging. While risky, I am confident in my ability to succeed, as my experiences have strengthened my resilience.
Time to Travel!
At 27, I see this as the perfect time to travel, explore the world, and grow personally, rather than settling down too soon. It’s crucial to invest in experiences and self-discovery before life becomes more rigid. Traveling and exploring diverse cultures have broadened my perspectives, helping me avoid the stagnation that I’ve noticed in some of my peers who haven’t ventured out. This phase of life is about experimenting, finding passions, and understanding oneself better. I’m embracing this dynamic period, balancing an intense workload with personal well-being. I focus on staying active, spending time outdoors, and maintaining a positive mindset, knowing that these habits will benefit my mental health and future.
Like a Machine
I’m juggling two complex neuroscience projects—one focusing on expansive brain networks with fMRI, and the other on optogenetics and two-photon imaging in mice. Balancing these tasks with my role in the PhD council and workshop organization is a true test of my abilities. Despite initial fears of sharing unpublished work, I’ve learned that presenting findings at conferences can lead to valuable connections with journal editors. This has changed my approach, making me more open to collaboration and peer review. Beyond my academic commitments, I’m planning a move to save money and prepare for future travels, including a challenging hike up Gerlach in the Tatra Mountains. My systematic upbringing helps me manage a busy life filled with to-do lists and ambitious goals.
Don’t Sleep! Sightsee
After returning from the Society for Neuroscience Annual Meeting in San Diego, I realized the importance of being selective with information. Neuroscience has grown so vast that it’s impossible to grasp everything, and I now focus on the essentials rather than trying to absorb it all. My perspective on working in the USA has shifted. While I used to fear the American work culture, I’ve become more confident and open to the idea of living and working there. I now understand that when you enjoy your work and stay active, you can handle the demands with enthusiasm. My recent experiences have brought me a newfound sense of well-being and optimism. Regular travel and daily exercise have boosted my spirits, and I’m determined to maintain this positive mindset as I continue pursuing my passions and professional goals.
On a Mind of a Generalist
I’ve realized that my broad approach to learning across various subjects during my studies is finally paying off. Each concept I’ve encountered now fits together, allowing me to synthesize information quickly, even in areas where I lack formal training. I’m proud of my progress in overcoming self-doubt and gaining confidence in my abilities. Whether it’s qualifying for essential courses or mastering technical tasks, I’ve learned to tackle challenges independently, breaking free from past limitations. For the first time, I’m experiencing a sense of freedom and contentment, free from complexes and unhealthy dependencies. This new mindset, grounded in self-respect and self-love, has brought me a level of happiness and independence that feels incredibly healthy.
How To Develop Yourself in Academia
In less than two years in science, I’ve realized it’s much like the music industry: success often hinges on networking and strategic partnerships, much like Pitbull’s rise to fame through collaborations. I’m learning to embrace this “game” of science, understanding that building alliances and engaging with media can enhance one’s career and lead to successful publications. I’ve found my calling in Computational Psychiatry, where I use advanced tools to understand and correct mental disorders. This work resonates deeply with me, blending my engineering background with my passion for understanding the human mind.
A Lonely Spring in Nijmegen
Arriving in the Netherlands, I initially struggled with cultural differences and social norms but gradually adapted, finding solace in the open and caring atmosphere and appreciating the supportive social safety net. The complex underground lab facilities at my workplace fascinated me, revealing an intricate world of scientific research and providing a thrilling contrast to my daily routine. Embracing Dutch culture, I’ve engaged with local festivals, joined the doctoral student council, and made strides in learning the language, all while feeling satisfied with my job stability and increased salary.
Finding Your Way In a New Workplace: How To Adapt and Stand Out?
Transitioning to a new lab, I’ve encountered a bustling and noisy environment with more women and experimentalists, a stark contrast to my previous quiet and solitary space, making adaptation a challenge. My new boss has been welcoming and engaging, sparking intriguing discussions about consciousness and the role of the thalamus, which has rekindled my enthusiasm for neuroscience. Inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger’s story of persistence, I’m setting ambitious goals in my field, including a paper and conference presentation, aiming to make a significant impact despite the challenges.
Awaken the Giant Within
Recently, I’ve been experiencing a strange desensitization, like chocolate tasting like soap. Despite this, the support from my sister and friends has been a comforting constant, highlighting the value of close relationships in tough times. Reading Tony Robbins’ “Awaken the Giant Within” has been surprisingly impactful. It emphasized the long-term potential we often underestimate and encouraged me to set ambitious goals, such as overcoming fears, contributing to mental health research, and climbing Kilimanjaro. Despite the challenges and stress, I’m learning to focus on positive emotions and minimize negativity. The book’s advice to savor good moods and manage negative thoughts is something I’m actively trying to apply in my life.
How To Deal With a Sudden Job Loss
Recent weeks have been incredibly tough. After moving to a new country with my fiancé and starting a dream PhD, I’ve faced the harsh reality that my work involves abstract equations and impractical ideas, rather than meaningful neuroscience research. With the scarcity of new doctoral positions and funding cuts, combined with personal life constraints, I struggled with the decision to abandon my current project. Yet, an unexpected opportunity arose at a major Dutch hospital, offering hope amidst these challenges. Despite a contract termination and the pressures of academia, I’ve found a potential path forward. Reflecting on my experiences and conversations with friends, I’ve realized there are many routes to happiness and success. I’m now considering alternative career paths and post-doctorate opportunities, embracing the possibility of a fresh start in the New Year.
Preparing for Evaluation Day
Reflecting on the era we’re living in, I see both overwhelming challenges and exciting opportunities. From the rise of electronic money to the blend of cultures and the vast knowledge available online, today’s times offer a mix of awe and complexity. As my performance review approaches, I face a pivotal moment in my career. A potential three-year contract and a PhD title would allow me to focus on my passion in neuroscience, specifically exploring why people differ so greatly in their reactions and experiences. Driven by my own past struggles with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), I’m dedicated to understanding neurotransmitter networks to combat depression. This personal battle fuels my work and motivates me daily, hoping my commitment will be recognized in my upcoming evaluation.
Tips For a Young Scientist
Recently, I was struck by Prof. Brzezinski’s candid critique of conspiracy theories surrounding the Smoleńsk catastrophe. His statement challenged the prevailing political and media narratives, reflecting a much-needed act of bravery in Poland’s ongoing struggle with widespread misinformation. In exploring Noam Chomsky’s critique of Artificial Intelligence, I found his concerns about AI’s indiscriminate use valid. Chomsky argues that using AI without understanding the underlying data structure can lead to misguided conclusions, particularly in complex fields like genetics and neuroscience. Following advice from Peter Medawar’s essay “Advice to a Young Scientist,” I’ve learned the importance of being assertive and persistent in scientific inquiries. Rather than being overly polite, being bold and inquisitive has proven more effective in advancing my research and understanding.
My First Time at the Society for Neuroscience Annual Meeting
Attending my first Society for Neuroscience (SfN) Annual Meeting in New Orleans was a thrilling experience. Despite the conference’s vast scale, I felt at ease and enjoyed exploring the diverse sessions and interactions without the stress of presenting. Though I had to manage my expenses carefully, including spending hours at the Atlanta airport for compensation, the trip was financially successful. I found it rewarding to be frugal and still make a positive impact, with a small net gain from the adventure. I was pleasantly surprised by the scale of the computational neuroscience community and the engaging encounters I had during my spontaneous explorations. This experience reinforced my sense of belonging in the global neuroscience network and highlighted the importance of a supportive professional and personal circle.
Return From Summer Schools: Regaining Passion for Neuroscience
Returning from my travels, I’ve discovered a profound passion for neuroscience, driven by the excitement of exploring neural diagrams and engaging lectures. The diversity in the neuroscience community, with its blend of backgrounds and interests, makes every gathering feel like a vibrant celebration of knowledge and culture. My experiences revealed that faculty members, often perceived as perfectionists, are actually quite human, balancing their professional work with personal passions like dancing and stand-up comedy. This alignment with my own optimistic outlook on life and work has been refreshing and inspiring. Traveling through summer schools in China and Poland taught me the value of interacting with diverse, talented individuals and the importance of resilience. Despite challenges, these experiences have reinforced my commitment to reclaiming my personal values and inspired me to engage more deeply with my peers and the world around me.
Preparing for Summer Schools in Computational Neuroscience
As I prepare for a summer school tour, I’m both excited and overwhelmed by the rapid advancements in computational neuroscience. The field’s vastness and the intense competition make me sometimes long for a quieter, more focused research niche. Recent high-profile projects, like Henry Markram’s €1 billion cortical column reconstruction and the Allen Institute’s $300 million brain slicing initiative, highlight the immense funding in neuroscience. While promising, they also attract a lot of pseudo-experts, complicating the search for genuine scientific talent. Currently undecided about my specialization, I hope the upcoming summer schools will provide clarity. My goal is to align my PhD focus with my true interests and ultimately secure a position that fits my career aspirations amidst the stringent requirements of the Dutch system.
Busy Days at the University
I’ve been accepted into three prestigious summer schools in Computational Neuroscience this year—Russia, China, and Poland. This is a significant achievement given the competitive acceptance rates, and I’m thrilled about the opportunities these schools represent. Negotiating with my boss was a challenge, as they were skeptical about me attending all three schools, fearing I saw them as free vacations. After a two-hour discussion, I convinced them of the value these summer schools bring to my research and future career. My schedule is packed with preparations, from finalizing my master’s thesis to preparing for intense summer school sessions. I’m also juggling various tasks, including a personal branding workshop, departmental meetings, and late-night lab work, all while maintaining a busy personal life.
How to Adapt and Push a Research Project Forward?
In the Netherlands, scientific presentations are all about flashy visuals and high-tech gadgets, which is a shift from my previous belief that understanding and excelling in your work should come first. I’ve started conforming by considering a Mac for its design appeal and engaging in the local culture of formal attire and provocative questions. To fit in with the university culture, I’ve begun socializing during lunch breaks and balancing work with occasional relaxation at home. Despite my reluctance towards posturing, I’m adapting to this environment, finding parallels between academic life and earlier school experiences, where impressing the authority was key. Currently, I’m grappling with a challenging PhD project involving complex algorithms to analyze brain network properties. Despite setbacks and delays, including working around a colleague’s limited availability and an unpredictable supervisor, I’m pushing forward and remain optimistic about overcoming these obstacles.
Work, Work, and Strange Events in the Lab
It’s February already, and the relentless pace of work is making it hard to enjoy any free time. Lately, I’ve been dealing with unsettling changes in the lab, particularly the recent expulsion of a skilled female PhD student whose project failed despite her best efforts. The fact that all recent departures from the lab have been women raises troubling questions. With a statistically low chance of this happening by chance, it suggests a possible bias or discrimination against women in the lab, especially during budget constraints. As someone aiming to become a good leader, I’m committed to supporting and ensuring the success of women in my future lab. It’s clear that women in male-dominated fields face unique challenges, and I intend to advocate for a fair and inclusive environment.
How to Cope in a Dutch Lab as a Polish Expat
At 26, juggling a career amidst cultural stereotypes about Polish people, like the unfounded association with drinking and stealing, has been challenging. These biases have made it difficult to fit in, especially in a competitive environment where my efforts and successes are sometimes undermined by colleagues. Since joining the lab, I’ve noticed a shift in my Dutch colleagues’ behavior. Initially, they would leave work promptly at 5 p.m., but now they stay late to showcase their dedication, creating a competitive atmosphere. Their initial advice was helpful, but as I began to outperform them, their attitude changed, attributing my success to “sheer luck.” While working on an intriguing essay about the small-world effect in networks, I’ve been reflecting on the nature of connections and efficiency in various systems. This topic, relevant across neuroscience, sociology, and mathematics, highlights the significance of network structure and has influenced my recent social choices.
Steve Jobs’ Biography: Inside The Mind of a Genius
Happy New Year! Reflecting on resolutions, I’ve decided to focus on practical improvements like swapping mindless browsing with reading insightful magazines like Time or The Economist. Despite the temptation to make grand changes, I recognize the value in small, manageable adjustments. I’ve been reading Steve Jobs’ biography and found myself disillusioned. Jobs’ behavior, marked by self-centeredness and poor treatment of others, has made me question my previous admiration for him. His life story challenges my view that genius justifies bad behavior. Instead of idolizing distant figures, I’m finding inspiration in the everyday lives of people around me. This shift in perspective is more meaningful and practical, emphasizing the importance of real-world connections over idealized role models.
What Leads To Success in Learning?
Success in learning hinges on staying in touch with trends, building connections, and maintaining effective communication while embracing a flexible yet clear goal and a winner’s mindset. Despite initial challenges in the Netherlands, including high publication demands, I’ve found surprising success with a math publication and a revitalized project, feeling ahead of my colleagues. My enjoyment of light-hearted shows and unique quirks boosts my energy and provides insights into success, highlighting the importance of determination and personality over mere talent.
Hardcore Beginnings in Grad School
Despite feeling disconnected and buried under a heavy knowledge load, I notice real progress in grasping complex subjects. I am starting to connect fields and consider cognitive science to understand my work better. Above all, I am reclaiming the resilient mindset of my early teens.
Harsh Rules of Dutch PhD Programs
Two months into my PhD in the Netherlands, I feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the program and the high expectations, particularly given the low completion rate and the challenges of theoretical research compared to experimental work. Despite the pressure, I’m discovering hidden gems at the university, like the beautiful lake and insightful lectures from renowned experts, which add a sense of wonder and opportunity to my experience. I’ve learned about the importance of scientific integrity and the strict rules at Donders, reflecting on how even prestigious achievements can be overshadowed by issues of ethics and the need for vigilance in academic integrity.
On the Size of the Human Brain
I’ve been challenged by ideas from philosophers and scientists like Simon Laughlin, who question whether further brain evolution is feasible due to energy demands, but I argue that brain efficiency and quality of thought matter more than sheer size. The notion that larger brains are better is debunked by examples like Einstein’s average-sized brain and the role of glial cells, suggesting that intelligence relies on how well the brain is utilized rather than its size. Despite concerns about energy and evolution, I remain optimistic about human progress, believing that traits enhancing offspring and evolving needs will drive improvement, even if evolution is slower than before.
On Intuition and Building a Career In Academia
After moving abroad, I decided to focus on one path instead of juggling several. Learning is a gamble: nobody knows which skills will matter later. Trusting my gut carried me through mathematics, game theory, and finally into neuroscience, and it keeps shaping how I build my academic career.
On Motivation For Work
A Young MBA lecture on motivation made me revisit two managers from my past projects: one dishonest about rewards, the other piling on unrealistic deadlines. Both lacked authority and ignored the praise-in-public rule. Plus a McDonald’s case study, Big Mac parity, and my first Big Mac.
The Questionnaire
I’ve launched an anonymous doodle poll to understand the views of my website visitors better. Although it’s uncertain how successful this survey will be, I’m excited to analyze the results and share them if the response is sufficient. As I wrap up my studies, I’ve decided to explore new interests. With anthropology falling through, I opted for online courses in “Globalization Studies” and “Introduction to Macroeconomics.” This has revealed gaps in my knowledge and potential income sources like the stock market and patent law, encouraging me to seek fresh ideas. I revisited an old idea involving eye-tracking technology for diagnosing pedophilia, which I discovered was patented by someone else. This experience taught me the importance of checking patent databases and the value of having a good lawyer for patenting ideas.
The Great Sorrow: On The Rise of Pseudoscience
A spring reflection on the sorrow that shadows ambition: why more work can feel like less accomplishment, whether women are really less happy, and how wealth relates to satisfaction. Then a darker trend: fortune-tellers taking over Polish TV while genuine psychology struggles for credibility.
My Little Lessons from Buddhism
I’ve been exploring the concept of becoming a buddha and found that traditional teachings focus on the path to enlightenment without specifying gender, suggesting that both men and women can achieve this state through similar spiritual practices. Interestingly, I discovered that personal data, such as the initials of surnames, can significantly impact academic success, with patterns suggesting that surname initials might influence opportunities like Nobel Prizes. My own unique surname “B” appears to provide an advantageous position in author listings. In my own life, I’m currently seeking PhD opportunities and shifting focus from dull translation work to more creative and practical projects in physics. Engaging with new questions and challenges is bringing renewed energy and motivation to my professional journey.
Internship in Neuromarketing / On Poland and Poles
I started an internship at a neuromarketing startup in Warsaw, survived a small crisis about working unpaid while peers land top jobs, and remembered how ambitious I was in primary school. Then a few observations on Poland: lenient courts, puzzling suspended sentences, and how it compares internationally.
I Got a Masters in Science! (All Over Again…)
I officially earned my Master’s in Mathematics, at the cost of 8 kilos and a week of sweltering July study. Passing rediscovered what I value most in myself: the ability to take risks and persist. In February I cried over algebra; five months later I held two degrees. Now the real adventure begins.
I Was Just Packing For Vacation in Masuria When Suddenly…
Despite my excitement for a peaceful July and my plans to finally enjoy a vacation in Masuria, I was hit with the news of a major mathematical challenge at my department, throwing my plans into disarray. Even with the added stress and the possibility of disruption, I’ve promised myself to pack my backpack and head to Masuria next Thursday, regardless of the outcome of the challenge, to either celebrate or find solace. Reflecting on my high school literature class, I’m reminded that life often leaves us with unresolved matters, and true vacation is a state of mind. I remain determined to visit Masuria and make it a reality someday.
How I Discovered the Alfred Adler School of Psychology
A tour of personality theories that ends with my favorite: Alfred Adler’s idea that the inferiority complex drives us to grow, and that people crave power more than pleasure. Then a rejected PhD application, and the high-school story of how I fought my way back to Katowice and into MISMaP.
Looking For Your Own Path
Digging through old works, a PhD application met with silence, and a reflection on why so many people follow the expected route while looking no further than the US or UK. Plus a math thesis picking up speed and a half-serious question about the health effects of Coca-Cola.
My Struggle With Algebra
For the fourth time, I failed my algebra exam despite working harder than on anything before. Prayer, pressure, and calm all gave the same result. So I am treating algebra as an unrequited love and getting angry enough to win: a battle plan of short daily sessions until the subject finally gives in.
“The Secret”
I am considering switching from glasses to colored contact lenses and imagining a world with crimson skies. At the same time, I am searching for a new life philosophy to replace my fatalistic mindset, inspired by “The Secret” and its claim that positive thinking attracts what we want. It may be naive, but it brings renewed hope and value to life.
On Astronaut’s Depression
After a long depressive episode, something unexpectedly lifted this autumn. That got me curious about why depression follows certain professions, above all astronauts: Buzz Aldrin, Lisa Nowak, and NASA’s research on isolation and connection. The conclusion lands close to home: social ties matter more than any other remedy.
On People and Elevators
During a layover in Paris, I observed airport behavior and noticed that, despite the crowd, I felt unusually comfortable making eye contact with strangers. That led me to ask why we behave so differently in confined spaces like elevators, and what human and primate behavior reveals about the evolutionary instincts behind our reactions in tight spaces.
On Melancholy and Master Osho
Mid-exams, I am stuck in a mental slump I cannot explain: every test says I am fine, yet nothing sparks. Osho’s “Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously” and the archangels’ colloquy from The Book of Mirdad helped me trace where the melancholy comes from, and why inaction is the real danger.
On Energy and Where It Comes From
My approach to life has shifted dramatically since high school. While my peers settle into mundane jobs and predictable lives, I remain energized and proactive, and I keep asking what has fueled this change over the past five years. I worry about the trend of losing vitality in one’s twenties, and I am curious about the risks of such a high-energy lifestyle.
Party To End Research For My Master Thesis in Psychology
On World Pi Day we held the closing party for my psychology master’s research: guests rated plasticine sculptures on freedom and artwork inspired by music, and friends ran the RPG missions that drove the study. Here are my thanks to everyone who helped, and a note on where to find the mission itself.
On Charisma
For Friday night, I suggest a YouTube binge I call “professional entertainment”: “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire” clips from around the world. I am fascinated by how some knowledgeable people stay so relaxed and eccentric, with a charm and charisma that sets them apart, and the contestants range from the clueless to the truly remarkable.